It's been almost 8 months since we started living together, and...we need to talk. I'm feeling a little like you think you can just do whatever you want around here. You stay up until all hours of the night and then you sleep all day, and you do very little to contribute to society. In fact, it's starting to giving me heartburn. I feel like I have to drag you around anywhere, and you never take the initiative to do anything for me. If you don't start pulling your weight around here, I'm going to have to start charging you rent. I love you dearly, son, but really - something's gotta give.